Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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