you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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