3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize