To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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