OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize