Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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