So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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