What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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