so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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