The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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