I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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