Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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