Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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