i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
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Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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