Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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