theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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