And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
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Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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