I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize