Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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