i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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