He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize