There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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