Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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