We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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