Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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