I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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