We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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