"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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