My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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