oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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