I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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