My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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