I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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