At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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