My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize