Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize