I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
ok first of all what the fuck
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize