just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize