who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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