so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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