So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got inside last night via doggy door
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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