I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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