I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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