my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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