life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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