omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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