four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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