He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You ruined the universe
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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