Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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