a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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