I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Welp...herpes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize