she was so not down for the gang bang
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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