Swine flu. Run for my life!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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